Cyber abuse.

So this is really a quick post because I would like to sleep soon, but really, it’s just been on my mind for the couple days and while the issue has not been resolved, I might as well post about it.

Basically on the weekend, something online happened on the realm of ask.fm, which if anyone doesn’t know, is a social networking website where people can send anonymous (or not, your choice) questions to an user with an account. Generally, this site is not used for cyber bulling and the like. They might be tame questions, such as ‘what did you do today?’ or ‘top 5 things you want right now’. However, it’s easy to see that this site could take quite a nasty turn with its anonymous features, which is exactly what it did during the past weekend.

Basically, we have a partnered boys school – let’s call them ‘Boy School’, or BS for short (it was unintended, I promise!) Basically, the premise was that Boy A who attends BS in my grade got sent anonymous questions which were basically hate about my group of friends and I, without any provocation from my friends or myself, probably to stir up some reaction within Boy A. Of course, this is exactly what happened. Basically, the questions asked were along the lines of ‘let’s create a list of the girls that we hate the most from (Girl School).’ and then this list was then created, which had very graphic and vulgar language directed at my friends and I. Being the type of person I am, I don’t like to take these things sitting down so I also sent Boy A a question on his ask.fm, choosing not to be anonymous (otherwise, of course, one of two things could happen: one would be called a ‘keyboard warrior’, or to ‘pop up on fb’/’inbox’.). My relationship with Boy A was that he was very annoying a few years ago, where he would constantly harass and annoy me on Facebook. I decided nope, I wasn’t going to deal with this, and then promptly blocked him from my friends list. Last year, while going through my Facebook settings I came across the people I had blocked, and then unblocked him, because hey, it’s been 3 years, I really don’t have a grudge against you, so why not.

Seems like this opinion was one sided. He apparently hates me for it.

After having to take my friends and I being called names such as (and this is direct quoting!)  ‘stuck up cunt’s, ‘sluts’, ‘the ugly fuck’, and also a reason given as to why this anonymous hated one of my friends – (and this girl is so sweet, and really I do not see why anyone from BS would hate on her) ‘idk why I just hate her’, I was not taking it anymore. I messaged Boy A off anonymous, asking what I ever did to him. He replied saying ‘you blocked me for three years lol’. I said, ‘thats because you were harassing me 2/3 years ago, of course I would do something that.’ He said it was just a joke, to not take things so seriously, and I replied with ‘so you think harassing me even when I told you to stop was a joke? And also calling my friends names is a joke?’ he replies with ‘I apologised to them? Whatevs soz youre obv mad for what I did.’ There was no apology, or anything of the sort.

This goes on for a while.

After he looks like a douche for an hour or so, continually calling people bad names and pretending like its nothing serious, and pretty much acting like the king of the world, he get’s (excuse the bad language) shit on, and he posts an ‘apology’. Online. Not directed at anyone.

About ten minutes after that, Boy A deactivates his account.

The next day on Sunday, he reactivates, deletes his apology statement, and then proceeds to answer questions with responses such as ‘haha i’m back, couldnt live without ask fm’. He also pretends that it was someone else on his account, even though he messaged someone the night before from another boy school asking if it was him, on Boy A’s own Facebook account. Sure it wasn’t you. Sure.

So this goes on for a while, so me and a friend (let’s say Girl A) decide to take it to our school and our deputy principal. Of course, now we are getting slandered by students from BS, who are friends with Boy A, telling us to calm down, we were being too harsh on him, he only meant it as a joke, etc. Really didn’t seem like a joke to me.

So you know, I get sent some hate as well on my own ask.fm (due to me not being anonymous) which I’m completely fine with, except that the context of the questions is what really gets my blood boiling. Being told that it was a joke. Sure, of course it was a joke! I’m totally going to take you calling my friends ‘fuckheads’ and ‘sluts’ as a joke.

So today, we took it to our deputy, so I’m guessing Boy A and his friends will be in for some fun tomorrow.

Of course the story doesn’t end there! This is really the part that I wanted to rant about, although of course you’d have to understand what happened before hand, so hence the 800 word description of what happened above.

There is a girl, let’s say her name is Girl C. She is in my friend ‘group’, and once the hate started happening and got pretty bad during the weekend, I was messaging her on Facebook. I told her we were considering taking it to the deputy (the only person I told and it just had to be her, huh.) and she says that you know, she supports our decision and she would go with us as well, but she ‘doesn’t want to make it a party’ (at the deputy principals office). So you know, I’m like yeah thats ok, completely fine.

But then the real problem starts from here: behind our backs today at school, she told all our other friends that we were ‘taking it too far’ by bringing it as a problem to the school. Now some of my other friends also share that opinion. I am fine with that, and I can even see where they’re coming from. Boy A could potentially get suspended. That’s fine. But to lie, and to just say that so she has something to talk about, is what makes me angry. I told girl C what was roughly going at the time because hey, I had no idea she would turn out to use it to have something to gossip about. I was dead wrong. Over the weekend, she goes and tells boy A’s friends that we might be taking it to the principal (me and Girl A, who I went to the deputy’s office with, had wanted to keep it as hush and not spread the word), and then today at school she also decides to pull a 180 and pretend that she didn’t want the matter to blow up. Which is the problem. Because after school, we were catching the train home and she decides to tell all of the people from my school and also students from BS who catch the train from that station, and of course they’re all hanging onto her every word, because this was some new interesting drama that they hadn’t know about.

Can I reiterate – girl A and I wanted to keep this quiet as possible.

Due to her telling almost everyone under the sun, even people who weren’t involved, she managed to blow up the situation, make her seem like the good girl (once again, by saying things like ‘I tried to stop them from going, I don’t think they needed to go that far), stomped on Girl A’s and also my own reputation (of course, now we seem like the bad ones and the ‘bitches’ for taking it to the school) and also make Girl A cry (who was sitting close by on the train, but not with Girl C while she was telling her heroic story. She had to listen to Girl C say bad things about her etc. I’m sure you can imagine.). But of course that’s ok! Because now everyone knows her as the little mine of information while being on the ‘good’ side, and she’s gotten the attention that she wants.

I have class with her tomorrow and I don’t know how to face her. Honestly, more than the anon and everything else, she has made me the most angry and infuriated. I’m almost hoping I have enough self restraint to not snap and start screaming at her and maybe even doing something physical.

Sorry for the lengthy, dark, and probably full of errors post. I left out a lot of things, but if I did include everything, it probably would’ve been well over 2k words or something. But thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far! Really appreciate it.